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Too Dark to See the Sky

by Dialectic

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1.
winter came down heavy no shelter to be found hiding from the wind in shallow scratches in the ground forward, ever forward destination clear in mind i know just where i'm going and i know just what i'll find i’ve been swimming my whole life trying to get to tennessee solving riddles, taming beasts slaying enemies don't believe in fate no such thing as destiny but i know exactly where i'm meant to be marched a hundred moons slept beneath a thousand skies till i saw where i was headed not in my mind, but in my eyes i grinned a grin and laughed a laugh and ran until i fell and slept without a dream or care as if under a spell i’ve been swimming my whole life trying to get to tennessee solving riddles, taming beasts slaying enemies don't believe in fate no such thing as destiny but i know exactly where i'm meant to be come morning time i searched and found a note to bring me sorrow my love had left for the east and told me not to follow tomorrow was calling out to her and she needed to be free and freedom's just another word for far away from me can you hear me calling? can you hear me cry? all the stars have fallen it’s too dark to see the sky can you hear me calling? can you hear me cry? all the stars have fallen it’s too dark to see the sky i’ve been swimming my whole life trying to get to tennessee solving riddles, taming beasts slaying enemies don't believe in fate no such thing as destiny but i know exactly where i'm meant to be
2.
Your Name 05:55
when the clouds break when the wind takes shape when midnight is running late that’s when i hear your name when the trolley stalls when the mercury falls and lampposts take the place of walls that’s when i hear your name this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when december numbs my toes when that potato head trumpet blows when police spill a child’s blood on the road that’s when i hear your name when the people take the streets when san francisco sleeps when the storm comes in from the east that’s when i hear your name this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time no music in the background no lights to show the way no god to give directions no magic words to say when this war is over and the enemy has no more soldiers and i can stop pushing this boulder that’s when i’ll know your mine this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name) this is the time when time stands still (that’s when i hear your name)
3.
they say my only hope is to betray you so i spend my days trying to learn how now i have cuts on all my fingers but i still don’t think i’m close to figuring it out every song i ever wrote is a goddamned lie the only time i ever hope is when i hope to die cross my heart cross my heart cross the whole thing out i wrote 99 songs every one for you i sang about our love and how i knew it to be true now it’s the end of the world as we know it and i don’t feel nothing at all it's just the same day over and over again till one by one we fall every song i ever wrote is a goddamned lie the only time i ever hope is when i hope to die cross my heart cross my heart cross the whole thing out your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter your love is like glitter can’t hold on to it, can’t wash it off every song i ever wrote is a goddamned lie the only time i ever hope is when i hope to die cross my heart cross my heart cross the whole thing out
4.
it was a january morning the air was cold and dry stepped outside, looked up and saw dandelions in the sky too delicate to survive the breeze they scattered into particle dust i reached out my hand to catch what would land came back covered in ashes and rust it’s too early for the fires but they’re burning all the same it’s too early for the fires but they’re burning all the same what could be the reason? what could be to blame? what could be the reason for these unseasonable flames? high above the standstill traffic, columns of smoke and fire rose like dancing serpents struck down at the evacuees like monsters of malicious purpose us in our honda, windows shut tight against the poisonous, boiling air the banshee wind drowned out our screams and the children's quiet prayers it’s too early for the fires but they’re burning all the same it’s too early for the fires but they’re burning all the same what could be the reason? what could be to blame? what could be the reason for these unseasonable flames? twenty days later, twenty people dead 100,000 acres just ember and ash the state investigated the cause of the blaze looking for a cigarette butt or power line flash but this was no ordinary wildfire this one started two towns over when the virus surged and left scores of bodies and overloaded the local crematorium so it's welcome to california i hope you brought a mask you’ll need it for the bug you’ll need it for the ash one horizon's ocean the other can't be seen it's sort of like the future it's sort of like a dream it's sort of like a dream it’s too early for the fires but they’re burning all the same it’s too early for the fires but they’re burning all the same what could be the reason? what could be to blame? what could be the reason for these unseasonable flames?
5.
you entered my life like a storm violent and charged and alive the child was the calm at the center where we could both breathe and everything was alright your fire felt like passion the blisters felt like love you burned off all the oxygen and left me lightheaded and high what we had felt like enough i saved your life again and again drunk and in the thrall of your touch i saved your life again and again once was too much once was too much i lied to the doctor, i lied to police to hide who you really are i was trying to keep our family together no such thing as going too far and when you had no one else left to defend you and everything solid turned to sand you grabbed the child by the hand left me sleeping in bed and under cover of a dark and moonless night you ran i saved your life again and again drunk and in the thrall of your touch i saved your life again and again once was too much once was too much no ransom demand no chance for return you took gasoline and match to my life just to dance as it burned now i’m on I-95 it’s dark and i’m alone mr state trooper, please just let me go just let me go i saved your life again and again i always kept you safe i saved your life again and again what a terrible mistake what a terrible mistake
6.
in the still of the night comes a rattle and hum there’s nothing in here moving it’s just the sound of my father’s lungs eight years old in the front seat of the cutlass my mom is telling me about how casey’s car crashed and he’ll never get to laugh that laugh again for anyone i can hardly hear her words over the sound of my father’s lungs my hands on your hips as you hum your heat hangs heavy over my lips and my tongue and when you cry my name your skin flashes hot like the breath of the sun and from the back of your throat comes an echo of my father’s lungs last night i dreamt we had a catch like we did when i was young but this morning, he can barely grip a ball his hands just aren’t that strong and i know it might be soon and it surely won’t be long until there’s no more sound no more sound in my father’s lungs you’re new to this world you’ve seen nothing but love sleeping soundly, mouth open as i watch from above what meaning have you gleaned from the songs that we’ve sung you? or do you just hear the sound the sound of my father’s lungs? when my time is winding down and all my work here is done i know i’ll hear the bittersweet call of that song the song of my father’s lungs the song of my father’s lungs

credits

released September 8, 2023

all songs by ying-sun ho

ying-sun ho: vocals, guitars, programming
mario trigueros: vocals
ian kim: vocals
andrew pelletier: bass, mini moog, vocals
jason slota: drums, percussion, vibraphone
ciara mcallister: organ, piano, fender rhodes, wurlitzer, synthesizers, vocals
will skinner: trumpet, flugelhorn
chris palowitch: trombone
lewis patzner: cello
beau sorenson: programming, synthesizers

produced, engineered, and mixed by beau sorenson at tiny telephone recording
mastered by john greenham at clearlight mastering

cover painting by jamaica dyer

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contact@dialecticmusic.com

℗2023 THWIP! Music. ©2023 ying-sun ho, except track 2, ©2004, 2023 ying-sun ho.
all rights reserved. unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.

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